Part 3 The style you chose to write in is not appropriate for the summary. Lots of unnecessary details Slips: … finally he took Billy hostage, WHICH WAS one of Kelly's main goals.
…and phoned Doris’ father…
He HAD lost his wife because of cancer and his son HAD died during the Vietnam war.
Part 1
ОтветитьУдалитьWell done!
Slips:
… is killed in A car accident caused by THE damaged brakes in a large truck.
… The next story to be introduced is THAT OF Colonel Robin Zacharias …
SOME OF THE the prisoners possess highly-classified knowledge …
… who has escaped from prostitution – WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Part 2
ОтветитьУдалитьGood!
Slips:
Kelly was being a good patient. Do you mean that as a rule he WASN’T.
His furious effort in rehab. His outward toughness. You are to write in sentences, not phrases.
… Kelly HAD BEEN selected because he was the only person they knew WHO had ever spent time in the area of the camp.
A master's degree from the University of California, Berkeley, in electrical engineering. It’s not a sentence.
Part 3
ОтветитьУдалитьThe style you chose to write in is not appropriate for the summary. Lots of unnecessary details
Slips:
… finally he took Billy hostage, WHICH WAS one of Kelly's main goals.
…and phoned Doris’ father…
He HAD lost his wife because of cancer and his son HAD died during the Vietnam war.